courageuse:

iamwhoiamandidontgiveadamn:

feminist vs anti-feminist

So last night there was a post about “I made this blog for anti-feminists, blah blah, women who like to meet their man at home with a sandwich and wear panty hose” and I felt the need to type this us. 

Here is a run of things that DONT disqualify you as a feminist and things that DO disqualify you. 

Things you can do and still be a feminist:

• wear makeup
• wear pantyhose/tights/leggings whatever
• wear a skirt
• wear nothing or damned near
• stay at home and take care of your children/step children
• make dinner
• have a career
• refuse to have a career
• like sex
• like rough sex
• dislike sex
• like porn
• dislike porn
• be vegan
• eat cheeseburgers every night
• date men
• date women
• date whoever catches your fancy
• refuse to date anyone
• diet
• have an eating disorder*
• refuse to ever diet a day in your life

I’m not sure if people are catching on, but the idea is, you MAKE YOUR OWN CHOICES IN LIFE.  You choose to wear makeup or dresses.  You dont do it because you feel you should because youre a woman.  You do it because it makes you happy. 

There is an asterik because few people choose to have an eating disorder.  Even those pro-ana girls we all love to hate….the thing no one talks about it that for many of them it goes from being a way to lose weight quick, to being a very real problem they will deal with for the rest of their lives.  And bashing them for it does NO good.  Trust me on this.  Please.

Okay…moving on.

Things you CANT do and say youre a feminist with a straight face

• perpetuate rape culture (victim blame, rapist apologizing)
• be anti-choice, you know seeing as how being free to make ALL of our own choices is the key point to feminism, abortion counts
• slut bash
• hate on other girls for NO reason (omg, she is such a [insert slur].” “why dont you like her?” “Cause she’s a [slur]” “why is she one?” “cause she is!”  heard this in high school a lot)
• body police - this an umbrella term for policing any of the following: body size, lack of size, plastic surgery, dieting, clothing, lack of clothing, religious wear (take note supporters of headscarf* and body covering bans: not all muslim women are oppressed victims. some are devout and choose to wear it even if they arent forced to by family pressure. k?), sexual activity, lack of sexual activity, sex workers, porn actresses…you get the idea.)
• if you engage in any activity that’s purpose is to take a choice away from a woman or to shame her for the choices she makes

Feminists, here’s the crux of this for us: we need to stop hating on women who choose to NOT be or ID as feminists.  For several people I know it’s because of the serious flaws in modern feminist practice, like trans phobia, trans misogyny, body policing, shaming of sex workers, and forcing muslim women to take off their religious headscarfs*, just for example.

So even though I dont agree with the woman who made that post last night, and was insulted that she would insinuate that you cant take joy from being a stay at home mom who cares for their partner and makes them dinner AND be a feminist, not being one is HER CHOICE.

(this asterik by “headscarf” is because I typed this in a hurry with an annoyed one year old in my lap and a wily cat at my feet and I cant think of the proper term off the top of my head.  Feel free to replace the asteriked words with the proper word if you reblog.  Actually, please do.  I dont mean any offense by using the general term headscarf.)

so much truth. couldn’t have said it better myself.